Dear Weather Gods,

Throughout the winter you hung a black cloud of precipitation over my head that affected my winter business. I have done my utmost to pay homage and respect to you, the weather Gods and know that you would not intentionally send anything but wind, precipitation and cold for an entire month while I vacation on Vancouver Island. I now realize that you have perhaps gotten me mixed up with my son, Charles Bartlett Jr. who resides in South American. He is the one looking for wind, storm after storm with lots of precipitation – but instead he is getting nothing but sunshine and heat. I trust you will look into this matter and make the appropriate changes.

Thank you in advance,

Charles Bartlett Sr.